Blue Ring News

Gig Review:

If you missed Surf’s Up at the Gov on Sunday October 18, well…. You missed it. Maybe next time, eh? But it was a grouse old show. Them GT Stringers quirked the crowd into a stomping frenzy, Double Wammy darted about like ghost crabs on the beach at low tide and Surf Fiction excelled with a thundering selection of surf classics and ‘new wave’ twang. With a salty sea-air tang. 

News from overseas

Bridge over raging river comes too late to save doomed pair.

A bridge has finally been constructed over the dangerous Raging River that cuts through traditional Indian territory in Wyoming more than 40 years after it was instigated to prevent the recurring drowning tragedy of Running Bear and Little White Dove. Delayed by in-fighting between the two tribes’ respective councils about which side should meet the costs, the bridge’s eventual completion culminated in an official inauguration that was not the jubilant success authorities hoped for.
“Fat-um lot of fukkum good it will do-um me now,” said Running Bear, currently residing in an iron lung at the Happy Hunting Ground Twilight Teepee, crippled with compound rib fractures and triple pneumonia, a legacy of decades of drowning and well-meaning but unsophisticated resuscitation procedures. Little White Dove, also an oxygen-dependent resident of the same institution, wasn’t available for the interview as she couldn’t find her best teeth and it was her toilet morning, anyway.
That’s not to say the bridge is a total wash-out. Councils for both tribes have agreed to share the profits earned by a wide-ranging toll system that taxes all users, from pedestrians, horse mounted and motorized traffic to the Mighty Buffalo, the Fleet-Footed Deer and other Pesky Fur-Bearin' Critters.

Entertainment news

Lovers of Roots, country and Rock music will have a three-course feast this weekend starting with an entrée of Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers at the Rob Roy Hotel on Friday night, October 23.
Main Course will be Walking The Line – Australia’s Number One Johnny Cash Show at the Clovercrest Hotel.
Dessert will be a sweet and succulent Amber Joy Poulton performing at the Lighthouse Hotel, Port Adelaide on Sunday, October 24.
Have some more?  Oh! No more for me, thank you; I’ve had an elegant sufficiency. Buuuuuuurrrrup! Hic! Oh, pardon me. You know, in some countries it’s good manners to belch after eating a fine meal. Or even drop your guts. True!

LATE NEWS: Speaking about dropping your guts - there's a bad smell hanging over 'Nevada'... the agency that booked Walking The Line into the Clovercrest Hotel dropped the brown bomb. Despite emails confirming the engagement, the cupid stunts booked in another band and neglected to advise the party of the first part. What can you say? It's all been done before and will happen again. So...  the  Johnny Cash gig is off.

Whether report

Whether you like country music or not you’ll have a mighty rocking time at the Port Noarlunga Arts Centre on Friday, 6th November when Honky Tonk Angels - Loretta Lynn Tribute Show struts its stuffing agin. Yes, it’s ‘Hi Y’alls’ and coyote calls with butt-slapping tunes from Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette, Patsy Cline, Kenny Rogers, Conway Twitty and a buffalo-diarrhoea splattering of muck from Shania Twain, Melinda Schneider, Gretchen Wilson (who the fuk is Gretchen Fukken Wilson, I ask yer? Wasn't she one of them fukkers in the Sound of Music what escaped….? No? Hmm. Well, where was I?)  So….. come along and support local theatre and local artists and enjoy some beautiful country music presented by Amber Joy Poulton (playing Loretta Lynn) and the Holymen, all playing that well-known song by Gretchen Wilson, The er…. The Yodelling Lederhosen. Yes, That’s it, I remember it well. At least... I can remember my chocolate starfish yodelling in my lederhosen. Or was it playing an euphonium?

Honky Tonk Angels at the Port Noarlunga Arts Centre on Friday, 6th November
8:00pm kick-off and it’s $25 ($20 concession) to get in. For bookings call: 8326 5577

Well… I’ve waited and I’ve waited and now, at last, I see what my dear old great granddaddy meant when he said: “What’s taking you so long in the shower, boy? Are you still cleaning that thing? You’ll wind up looking like a fukken yabby with one arm bigger than t’other if you don’t stop….” Just a moment. It was the other thing he always said which was: “Them websites won’t write them-fukken-selves, yer creepy little pervert!”
So, here it is - late in the day, late in the week, month, year…Life -  that I am finally doing the work, myself.

If there’s only one thing you do this weekend – apart from interfering with yourself in the shower – you have to get to the Gov on Sunday afternoon/evening (October 18)  for Surf’s Up. A goddam, stompie-womping, toe-hanging, white-watering blow-out with Surf Fiction, Double Wammy and GT Stringer. Doors open at 5.30, cheap as all get-out to get in, check the Gov website for more info.

 Even if you have been to the for a Sunday afternoon of Roots, Blues and RnB music, make your day complete by paddling over to the Gov, chucking some small bills at the door hound, and shaking out the sand in your crack to the stomping, wipey-outering –--- jeez, I’m sick of this already. Please come over and we'll all be your friend. Forever. Maybe.

Looking ahead – into the future... in fact, Dr Dan the Prettyfukkenamazing invites you to look into this crystal ball with me - him...

Now, what do we see up ahead? Wait! I’m getting a message from my spirit guide, Billy One-Nut, a famous chief of the Nadbag tribe that hangs around near the old Chocolate Motorway…Wait... He’s calling to me ….It’s a bit hard to hear him but I know he’s saying something…. What? Speak up Billy… What? 'Take... the old…cotton…buds … out .. of... your... rear'  Eh?  ...oh, ‘ear’   Well, I’ll be jiggered. I’d forgotten about them; musta left em stuck in me pinking shears after I washed me hair last month.

That’s better, now I can hear what he’s saying. What’s that, Billy One-Nut? You want to tell us about a bonza gig in the near future? Ok, but say it in a spooky voice and like it was an advertisement on the teeva…

'Honky Tonk Angels - Loretta Lynn Tribute Show is on again!

Honky Tonk Angels– The Loretta Lynn Story will be playing at the Port Noarlunga Arts Centre on Friday, 6th November. Starts 8:00pm and ticket price is $25 ($20 concession). To book call: 8326 5577

Come along and snap your panty elastic to some beautiful country music by Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette, Patsy Cline, Kenny Rogers, Conway Twitty as well as hits by Shania Twain, Melinda Schneider, Gretchen Wilson and the Greatest Country sheila Singer of all, Mandy More. (What’s that Billy?) Oh. Sorry  – the Greatest Country Sheila Singer of all… Many More.

Saddle up your millipedes and git out there and support local theatre and local artists, folks and folkesses. Amber and The Hellraising Band would love to see ya and take all ya fukken money! (Billy OneNut talks a bit like I do. I sorta taught him English)

Honky Tonk Angels stars: Amber Joy Poulton as Loretta Lynn
Amber is a Toyota Starmaker Top 10 Grand Finalist 2009
www.myspace.com/amberpoulton
www.amberpoulton.bigcartel.com

Goobye Dr Prettyfukkenamazing, my work here is doooooooonnnnnne... Everyone will come along and the pockets of Teepee theatre management will be bursting with wampum"

Billy’s going now, back to his tribal ground to polish his totem pole. He likes doing that. Thank you and goodbye Billy One Nut. Now…turn on the light please, Amelia… HEY! Where is everybody? And who stole my fukken crystal ball? That cost me a fortune you lousy pricks! My iPod! Where’s my iPod? You bastards….. Oh... Jeezus H Fukken Crumbs... now there's ectoplasm all down the front of me caftan.