It’s a miracle!!!!…. Stuff yer Saint Mary McKillop sideways up a drain pipe, I’m going for a sainthood myself!  Let me tell you the story. Tongue was dragging on the floor for a cup of coffee… coffee tin empty. Pocket empty (shouldn’t have bought that neck massager – mucho dinero and I don’t have much of a neck!) Back to coffee jar… saw some grounds stuck in the bag. Then I found some more stuck to the lid. The more I looked, the more I found. It was just like the loaves and fishes business except with a coffee jar! Then I found some more in the bottom of the sink and then … I found a whole pile of them on the compost heap! More than enough for a cup of coffee. I made a pot of coffee and took a cup each to my neighbours whom I normally can't stand. Then, I sat down to enjoy my coffee and fiddle with my neck massager and guess what????? When I stuck it on my dick I got as hard as a seven-sided rubik’s cube. It was nothing  more nor less than a fukken miracle!!! I have sent a letter to the Pope bloke and I expect my sainthood in the mail any day soon.

Now, Saint The Preacher has some Christmas miracles for you.

On Friday night, December 25 – yes, Christmas day night evening – Steve Brown (photo left) and the band of renown will undo their wrapping paper and launch into angelic song at the Semaphore Workers Club, Semaphore. That particular miracle starts around 9 pm and features David Rocky Rhodes on guitar, Kevin the Miracle worker Sheehy on Bass and Jeff Algra-rythms on drums.

Miracle number the next: Saturday December 26 – Boxing Day – Double Wammy will perform the miracle of turning a dull evening into an uproar at the Wheatie! Yes, the Wheatsheaf Hotel Thebarton where baby Jesus will never get turned away if he wants his bottle microwaved. Oh what fukken joy….Oh! what joyo-o-o-Ooooh! OOOo oooooOOOOoohhooooOOh (still fiddling with the neck massager)

Then, the miracle following closely on the heels of that one before… another Double Header: Surf Fiction teams up with This Ain’t Rocket Science for a New Year’s Eve blowout! Now, being a private show, I can’t tell you where it is… but I can tell you WHEN! It’s on December 31… at night!

Another miracle just happened. I got the neck massager into the sock drawer seconds before me sister walked in. Sheee-yit!

Epilogue: Knowing that some of us (you and I included) may imbibe enough alcohol to get blind at some time over the Christmas new year break,  I have posted the Blue Ring Christmas wishes in Braille: ⠠⠍⠑⠗⠗⠽ ⠠⠉⠓⠗⠊⠎⠞⠍⠁⠎ ⠁⠝⠙ ⠁ ⠠⠓⠁⠏⠏⠽ ⠠⠝⠑⠺ ⠠⠽⠑⠁⠗