Let's get cracking... here it is almost February and what have you been doing? What have you achieved so far? Nuthin! Eggs-zactly. I thought as much. So..... here's your chance to make amends. You can achieve going out and having fun listening to live music and getting half stonkered. Unless, of course, you are the designated drinker in which case you can get shit-faced and make a proper arsehole of yourself.

Gigs......... 

January 29    Friday  the Excelsior Hotel (Brompton)  coughs up Steve Brown in large lumps with Gini and her groove, and David Rhodes and his best mate... the Preacher! on lie-down bass. It should be a stand-up bass but the stand bit got busted in the back door of the van. Anyway, the Preacher is tired and needs a bit of a lie down. That's a photo of Brownie over there on the left - he's just been told he has won best best dressed man  -- for 1971!  And look at that smile! Also, The Preacher isn't Rhodesey's Best Mate; the Preacher is a bit of cnut and isn't best mate to anything except maybe a lungworm. The band will be working under the moniker "an Acoustic Scandal"*

 Next... Saturday, January 30, Warp Factor 3 will be a setting the drive for warp factor ... er.... three, I guess, at the Norwood Hotel. Bring your sleeping bags, it's gonna be a long one. 9 pm Saturday to 1 am Sunday! Christ oh-fukken-mighty, how will they do it??? I bet they take drugs!

Now, if you have the wanderlust; if you have the travelling bug, then, on Saturday - the same Saturday January 30 - you can start walking to Whyalla to hear SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS play the finest live blues and roots music at The Left Hand Club. Start early; make sure you are not tired when you get there because your feet will want to git a-shuffling when you hear that boogie riddum Or something like that.

Sunday January 31, Rohan Powell at the Lighthouse Hotel, Port Adelaide.

 That's the only photo I have of Rohan. And the kids drew on it. And he should be playing an acoustic guitar, too. I guess it's not very good at all but...It's not my fault. The dog ate my web page.

Now........ Looking ahead.

 Saturday, February 6, COLLARD, GREENS & GRAVY, SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS at the  Wheatsheaf Hotel, Thebarton.

 Bring your own bread and butter to dip in the gravy and no fukken double-dipping - ok?  You have to cut the bread into little soldiers for one-dip only.

Hoy Hoy!! have been setting new bench marks with sales of their new DVD. Why don't you buy one and let them put their fukken marks all over your bench! I spent half a day with the Mr Sheen getting their so-called 'bench marks' off of my bench top. More like fukken skid marks if you ask me. There, that feels better..Them and their fukken DeeVee fukken Dees'

So.. you can catch the Hoy Hoy!!s on Sunday Feb. 7th at the Coopers 1862 Blues Bar at the Wine Underground, Pirie st. Live music start about 5-ish.

Then on Saturday February 13th, Hoy Hoy!! will break the seal on a new Rock and Rhythm venue at The Rex Hotel,  Richmond Rd. Good boy, Rex. Good Boy. Hey! Stop lickin' your nuts! Put That Lipstick AWAY, you dirty hound!!!!!

 * (Whisper - an 'acoustic scandal'? more like an crusty fukken sandal! What were they thinking? what were they fukken smoking? What was in that shit they were injecting?????)