Don’t listen to The Taos Hum — you’ll go crazy!
Published: July 23, 2024
Originating in the small town of Taos, New Mexico, The Taos Hum remains one of the world’s weirdest and enduring mysteries, captivating scientists, residents and visitors alike, and has continued to puzzle experts for decades. And geniuses like me, too; cos I’m fukked if I know what it is.
Oh… here’s some kind of explanation we prepared earlier:
The Taos Hum is a low-frequency noise, often described as a persistent, low-pitched sound resembling a distant engine or thrumming, apparently emanating from the ground or thereabouts. It is typically heard by a minority of people in specific locations, primarily in Taos, but also reported in other regions around the world.
Despite extensive investigation, the exact cause of the Taos Hum remains elusive. Several theories have been proposed, including: geological or atmospheric factors such as seismic activity, underground water movement. Atmospheric pressure variations could be responsible. Or scary monsters underground playing ten pin bowling or having deep-bass rave parties. Maybe. That’s just what I reckon.
However, thorough investigations have failed to identify a definitive source.
The Taos Hum has varying effects on those who hear it, ranging from mild annoyance to significant distress. Some common effects include headaches, nausea, dizziness, or insomnia and even smelly feet, which they attribute to the persistent, pervasive noise. Although maybe not the smelly feet. I just put that in because I think a higher proportion of people in Taos and the surrounding area might have smelly feet. Because… I think if you live in Taos and get stressed out by the hum it might make your feet sweat more than if you lived in, say… Aukland, where there’s no enigmatic hum. Maybe.
Anyway, the constant presence of the hum can lead to psychological distress, including anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome, genital warts, and difficulty understanding what’s going on in the world today. For residents in affected areas, the Taos Hum can significantly impact their quality of life, disrupting sleep, concentration, and overall well-being. And can make you fail to understand particle physics and cause your children to be born with red hair!!
Maybe.
I might’ve made that up that last bit, too. And some of the other shit, as well.
BUT! Why am I telling you this??? Because The Nuts — those darlings of their own Indi arty-farty ‘new music’ clique — have included on their new CD collection a fkn crazy song called I Ain’t Never Heard the Taos Hum!
That’s right, The Nuts – Millionaire’s Mix contains — among other artistically musical gems — a tribute to one of the eerily infamous, most enigmatic, inexplicable, indiscriminately irritating mysteries of the world — The Taos fukkin Hum!
A ‘tribute‘.
Here it is…. But don’t listen to it — you’ll go nuts