I’ve got the Putin blues
Published: June 5, 2025
To coincide with the release of The Nuts’ new track — Putin Blues (The Acronyms of Death) — we have collated some of the exciting and interesting ways in which The Kremlin edits its Christmas card list.
(Go here for Pootin Blues: https://youtu.be/TsbX24VXVZs)
Just in case you think the stuff in the song is not true, these cases have drawn international scrutiny due to the bizarre, brutal, or secretive nature of the methods used. While not all are definitively proven to be Kremlin-ordered, many bear hallmarks of intelligence operations or politically motivated assassinations.
Poisoning with Radioactive Polonium-210
Victim: Alexander Litvinenko (2006)
- Former FSB officer and outspoken Kremlin critic.
- Poisoned in London with radioactive polonium-210, slipped into his tea at a hotel.
- Suffered an agonizing death over several weeks.
- British authorities concluded it was a Russian state-sponsored assassination.
Nerve Agent Poisoning (Novichok)
Victims:
- Sergei Skripal and daughter Yulia (2018, UK)
- Alexei Navalny (2020, Russia)
- Skripals poisoned in Salisbury, UK; survived. Novichok was found on a doorknob.
- Navalny fell critically ill on a flight and survived after treatment in Germany.
- Both incidents involved a rare Soviet-era nerve agent developed for warfare.
- Strong evidence links Russian intelligence (GRU) to the attacks.
Poison in Underwear
Victim: Alexei Navalny (2020)
- A later investigation revealed the Novichok was allegedly applied to the inner seams of his underwear.
- Navalny tricked a Russian FSB agent into revealing the method in a recorded call.
Defenestration (Falling from Windows)
Numerous Russian executives and officials have died after “falling” from windows in recent years:
- Ravil Maganov, chairman of Lukoil (2022)
- Dan Rapoport, Latvian-American businessman critical of Putin (2022)
- Pavel Antov, sausage tycoon and Putin critic (2022, fell from hotel window in India)
- Often ruled as suicides or accidents under dubious circumstances.
Sudden Illnesses While Abroad or in Custody
Victim: Viktor Yushchenko (2004)
- Ukrainian presidential candidate poisoned with dioxin, resulting in severe disfigurement.
- Survived, but permanently scarred. Widely believed to be politically motivated, though Kremlin denied involvement.
Assassination by Gunfire in Broad Daylight
Victim: Boris Nemtsov (2015)
- Former Deputy Prime Minister and Putin critic.
- Shot dead on a bridge near the Kremlin in Moscow.
- Despite arrests, many believe the masterminds were never caught.
Stabbings or Beatings in Suspicious Circumstances
Victim: Nikolai Glushkov (2018)
- Former Russian businessman and exile.
- Found strangled in his London home. UK police treated it as a murder.
Mysterious Plane Crashes
- Yevgeny Prigozhin (2023) – head of Wagner Group who led a short-lived rebellion against Putin.
- Igor Sergun (allegedly) – former GRU chief who died under unclear circumstances in 2016.
- Prigozhin’s private jet exploded mid-air; suspected sabotage.
Unexplained Accidents or Drownings
- Several executives from energy companies (Gazprom, Lukoil) found dead in bathtubs, pools, or forests in 2022–2023.
- Often ruled as accidents or suicides, but timing and volume raise suspicion.
Poisoned Pajamas / Pillows / Hotel Items
- Alleged use of poisoned personal items by Soviet or Russian agents—though mostly based on spy allegations and rarely confirmed.
Pretty scary, eh?